13 ian. 2009

o zi buna

marţitreişpe de obicei nu promite nimic bun. probabil ca din motivul asta m'am si dat cu capul de coltul noptierei azi dimineata (foarte de dimineata) cand un particular s'a gandit sa ma sune pentru motive doar de el intelese.

desigur, nici faptul ca nu mai aveam nes si a trebuit sa beau cafea nu e doar o coincidenta nefericita. pentru ca, asa cum era de asteptat, am dat cafeaua in foc iar aragazul, proaspat spalat aseara, a devenit din alb maro. de kko. partea buna e ca am scapat prea mult zahar in cafea si a trebuit sa fac alta. pe care am dat'o in foc, de asemenea (asa e cand te speli pe dinti in timp ce cafeaua fierbe), dar cum aragazul era deja mizerabil n'au mai fost probleme.

incerc sa nu fac plati lunea asa ca azi parea safe sa platesc factura romtelecom. online - scuteste timp & bani, ca avem aceeasi banca. pentru ca am pus cana de cafea peste factura, n'am vazut ca lumea codul de abonat si l'am gresit. cine stie cui i'as fi platit factura daca banca, scumpa mea banca, banca NSP (nusepoate), nu'mi zicea, fireste, nu se poate!

am o intalnire, deci ma imbrac frumos, camasa alba nelipsita, preferata mea e curata - ce noroc, imi zic - si apoi ma fardez. fireste, pun fond de ten pe preferata. tre sa schimb camasa. nu'mi place nici una, plec cu draci si sunt aproape sa ratez partea cu punctualitatea.

in metrou, la intoarcere, unu o impinge pe una in mine, aia se sprijina - dar cum al'fel! - de geanta mea! cureaua gentii nu tine mai mult de 100 de kilograme, tanti avea mai multe, opinez, asa ca cedeaza. cureaua. geanta noua. imi vine sa le dau cu ea in cap!

in fine, acasa. pare safe. geanta nu poate fi transformata in plic. primesc vesti, nu sunt bune. la dracu.

abia o privire aruncata horoscopului ma avertizeaza ca asta nu e tot.

Life throws us all crazy things now and then. Like swords made of ham. And dogs on skateboards. The best way to fool a man into giving away a biscuit is to let him know that you know where it's been. Don't give any details, just let it casually be known that you "know where it's been". How is this relevant to you today? You'll see. You and biscuits are going to be inseparable.

oh, nu! nu biscuiti! ii stiu, sunt aia cu mere de la ulker, singurii care'mi plac, am un pachet de patru ascuns intr'un sertar. dar sunt la cura! ah, nu biscuiti, va rog, orice, dar nu biscuiti!

pentru ca ziua asta mai are vreo opt ore, ma gandesc sa va avertizez si pe voi ce v'asteapta, dupa cum urmeaza

Gurning championships are no place for someone like you and yet you'll be tempted to find out not only *what* they are, in detail, but where they take place, entry fees, and who in your family has a talent for gurning. In other news, scientists have found out that when the wind changes, your face doesn't get locked in its current position - this knowledge may serve you well.

The medical degrees you claim you possess were not worth the 70 euros you paid for them through PayPal. The newspaper will become a source of great amusement this week as an article tickles your fancy in almost every way.

Praying to false gods never seemed so good after this week. You may become friends with a self-proclaimed tribal warrior named Alf. You are a beautiful creature - don't let any other pretty bitch tell you otherwise.

Ensure your blood stays within your system today by not venturing further than your refridgerator. Do you have any idea what you're letting yourself in for? Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not you. Sing a song inside and to hell with the dark clouds that await you.

Exercise may seem like a dirty word, but until you lose some weight fatty, it's the dirtiest word you're going to hear for a long time. Wake up in a trash-can again? Don't let your drinking get you down, go and have a beer. Overspending will find you slightly less well off this week.

Act daft today, help people close to you smile, and feel the healing power of laughter. A tasty beverage will be coming your way today - something to look forward to. Terrible news is headed your way - the best way to save your sanity is by implicating as many people as possible in your demise.

Not that today is going to be the worst day in your life, but...paraffin is an effective way of erasing memories. Today will be a day like any other.

You may hear good news today from an excitable old lady who may turn out to be drunk. Babies are not meant to be sugared or par-boiled. Parenting classes may be important to someone close to you. When opening the door for a stranger, take care to notice any loose change that they may drop so that you can slam the door in their face, grab the money, and then run for dear life.

Gun crime is said to be rising around the country. Political statistics may become important for you today, but the mystics will not be clear as to how. Watch out for bullet-shaped objects. This week is going to be one of those "trials by fire" type nightmares that happen every so often. I wish I could give you more details but then you'd have no good reason to return over the coming days, would you?

The randomness of the universe may affect you today as you search for meaning in a cornflake that looks like your nose. Brown is your unlucky colour for today. Avoid it whereever possible. Back in school when people would bully you about your hair and possibly jacket, you swore you would have your vengeance. Make today that day.

Up to your neck in debt? Today might be the day you strike it lucky and catch the television advert that claims they can help you. They really want to help too, they love you. It doesn't matter whether you have a criminal record of CCJs, or whatever. Heck, if they could, they'd have your babies. Seriously. There's a lot of love between you and that random debt-help company. Avoid serious questions wherever possible today and TIE YOUR SHOES DAMMIT!

eu va urez o zi buna in continuare!

15 comentarii:

Maria Coman spunea...

geanta noua pe criza? tu esti de vina

ilinca dima spunea...

maria, nu era noua, o am din septembrie, da' uitasem complet de ea :))

ritchiu spunea...

la mine zice de bine cred, ceva cu medici, pe care nu i-am vazut în ultimii 26 de ani, deci bine :))

şi la mine nu a fost marţi 13.

ilinca dima spunea...

nelu, desigur ca nu a fost. pentru tine vremurile sunt altele, tu doar ne impartasesti cate ceva. daca vrei, daca nu, nu :)

ilinca dima spunea...

nelu! si nu te enerva, da? nu te enerva, ca iar pica avioane :)

Maria Coman spunea...

ilinca- te rog nu ii mai spune lui nelu lucruri urate.

pushthebutton spunea...

Moaah, n-am mai dat cafeaua-n foc de nu știu când. Baaad day...

Aimee spunea...

eu azi am traiti toata ziua cu impresia ca e 12 ianuarie... nu stiu de ce... Deci ziua de 13 s-a pierdut pe drum, intru direct in 14 ianuarie :D

miki spunea...

:)) si la mine toate alea de ti l ziceam pe mess au fost tot pure coincidente. si celelalte la fel. dar e ok, azi e miercuri, 14. despre asta nu se spune nimic, nu?

stroem spunea...

Si fobia e cu vineri 13 ...( e si movie , e si un virus informatic )... dar cand te loveste ghinionul ...

Pisicot spunea...

Eu am reţinut doar asta :)
You are a beautiful creature - don't let any other pretty bitch tell you otherwise.

ritchiu spunea...

nu pe bune, chiar a fost o zi ok. pisica nu a spart nimic, uşa la maşină nu mai scârţâie, nu mi-am uitat cheile în casă.
la alţii a fost mai nasol...dar tot au învăţat că Dacia este mai sensibilă la impactul cu Audi.

benny-november(dana) spunea...

gemenii rullzzz:))

ilinca dima spunea...

maria, nu s'a suparat, n'am observat nici o catastrofa serioasa lately (asta daca nu se pune la socoteala picajul liber al leului - da' asta a inceput inainte de martitreishpe)

rares, pai tu faci cafea pe sistemul ceai, ce sa dai in foc, apa?

aimee, felicitari (stiu, sunt datoare, n'am uitat)

miki, ghinion tu si inca vreo 2000 sau asa ceva
pe 14 n'o sa fie mult mai bine, poate pe 15. speram

stroem, mi se pare mai grav marti. vinerea macar e inainte de we :)

pisicot, cica ala e funny horoscope. dar e bine, nici nu merita retinut al'ceva :)

nelu, tot e bine ca n'a aflat pisica cum e cu dacia si audi :)
oricum pisica e cuminte pentru ca in forul ei interior pisicesc si sensibil (nu, nu e un nonsens alaturarea) ea sufera pentru ca stie ca n'o mai doresti

dana, rulz, da, clar
dualistii rulz.. atata timp cat nu e vorba de iubiti :))

joacadeamine spunea...

la mine s-a potrivit totul mai putin partea cu datoriile. care desi exista, nu-s pana la gat in.
si marti 13 a fost un fel de vineri 13 (avem si de-ala in februarie, deci putini vor supravietui pentru a doua zi de Valentine's Day).

la genti si pantofi nu se poate renunta pe timp de criza, am stat bine si m-am gandit si asta e rezolutia.